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It was that time of year again -
Mr Teesside beauty pageant,

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a competition based on beauty,
talent and bulges.

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Every town in the Tees Valley
was eligible,

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and every man and his dog wanted
that cash prize - 20,000 big ones.

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<font color="
do anything,

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and I mean anything,
to win that title.

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Fuck's sake.

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You wanted to see me?

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You took your tiiiiime!

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I couldn't remember where
I put my favourite trilby.

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Take a seat!

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<font color="

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What's Mr Teesside?

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Only the biggest...

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SHE GASPS

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..competition...in the
Tees...Valley.

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SHE CHUCKLES

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Right. And what's that
got to do with me?

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THIS is my master plan, Bobby.

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<font color="
for a number of years,

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and I've finally figured out
the formula.

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LAUGHTER ECHOES

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Formula for what?

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The formula to win...

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..MR TEESSIDE!

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SHE CACKLES

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Right.

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<font color="

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Dumb twink.

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Let me introduce you to one of the
finalists of Mr Teesside,

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representing my beautiful
home town of Stockton.

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Looks like he's not going to make
it to the competition!

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NAN CACKLES

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<font color="
But why me?

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I'm not even from Teesside.
I'm from South Shields.

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Not any more!

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Listen very closely...

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Can I just stop you?

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I'm sorry to interrupt,
but is this all true?

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<font color="

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Well, it just feels a bit
far-fetched, and overly stylised.

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I'm, er, trying to create
a bit of drama for you, babe.

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I know you tabloid people love
a bit of sensationalism.

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Well, we're not really about that
<font color="

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Our readers appreciate the truth.

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So, what I'm more interested in is
what happened at the competition

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itself and, more importantly,
the cheating scandal that occurred.

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Well, in that case,
I'll start at the very beginning.

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<font color="
chick.

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I remember it like it was
yesterday.

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I still couldn't believe
that Stewart,

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the human embodiment
of a perverted rat,

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had made it to the final
of Mr Teesside.

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<font color="

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the human embodiment of a perverted
rat, has made it to the final

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of Mr Teesside. Oi!
Stop being such a bitter old queen.

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Just because you didn't get chosen.

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Mam? Do you think we'll make it
on time?

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<font color="
points if we're late.

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I'm going as fast as I can, chick.

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Oh, stay still, Stewart.
This stubble's going everywhere!

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I can't help it.

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Why do I need stubble?
Listen, the hon.

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<font color="
for a decade, so I know what

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makes a winner, and as lovely
as your smooth, baby-faced skin is,

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I know for a fact that those
horny judges love a bit of rough.

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I've got all your outfits
in that suitcase

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<font color="
and help you change.

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Oh, thanks, Lucinda.

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You really don't need to do
all this for me.

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I'm not going to lie, hon.
I'm actually doing it for all of us.

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If you win Mr Teesside,
you'll be able to get us

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<font color="
in the Tees Valley.

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Oh, you're joking, aren't you?!

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What's the matter?

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That frigging speed camera has
just flashed at me!

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I think it's the wrong one! AHHHH!

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Fucking hell. I shit myself.

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Are you OK, Sal?

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<font color="
I must have been dreaming.

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'Ere, how are we getting on, Mam?

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I told Mel I'd meet her
half an hour ago.

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We're supposed to be onstage now.

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We're just round the corner, chick.

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Eee, God.
I'm proper shitting meself.

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<font color="

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I was profoundly grateful
when we arrived at the venue,

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as the stench of Stewart's
desperation had contaminated

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the air inside the ice-cream van.

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Come on, you lot, in you go.

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Isn't that Nan?

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<font color="
wench doing here?!

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I don't know,
but she's looking proper shifty.

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I think she's with
the Mr Stockton finalist.

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He looks familiar.

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Why was Nan acting so suspicious?

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Who was that bald, muscly twink?

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<font color="
and I instantly knew who to call.

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This was a job...

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..for Detective Sexy.

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I mean, you definitely weren't that
quick getting into that costume.

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Did I interrupt you?!

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You haven't let anyone else talk!

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<font color="

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Sorry about this.

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The smell of beer-saturated carpets

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and excited menopausal women
could mean only one thing -

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Mr Teesside.

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There was something really
<font color="

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and I just had to find out
who he was.

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WOLF-WHISTLING

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That's the only thing with
calling on Detective Sexy.

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No matter how hard
she tries to stay undercover...

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Now we're talking!

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<font color="
can't get enough.

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Um, I don't remember that happening,
actually, Dickie.

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Yeah, well, I don't remember
you happening, Stewart! What? What?

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Look, I haven't got a lot of time.

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<font color="
summary from someone else.

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How about you?

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I'll start at the very beginning.

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It's a pretty good place
to start, chick.

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We were on the way to the
Mr Teesside beauty pageant.

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I could not believe I'd been
<font color="

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It seemed like a lifetime ago that
I'd submitted my audition video,

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where I tap-danced to Meghan
Trainor's All About That Bass

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to Middlesbrough Council.

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And now, here we were on the way
to the final!

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<font color="
make it on time?

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I got an email saying they'll deduct
points if we're late.

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I'm going as fast as I can, chick!

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Oh, stay still, Stewart.
This stubble's going everywhere!

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Oh, you're joking, aren't you?!

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<font color="

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Come on, you lot, in you go.

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It was magical inside.

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People had gathered
from all over the Tees Valley.

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Some had even come all
the way from Hartlepool.

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You're late, Mr Middlesbrough.

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<font color="
that. Come with me.

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This is your station.

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We're starting soon,
so get ready to go on.

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The six contestants from the
Tees Valley that had made it

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to the final were getting
ready backstage.

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<font color="

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It's Nadia on the judging
panel again.

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She never misses a year.

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She's the one you've got to impress,
Stewart.

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She has the most influence,

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and she's the one who likes
<font color="

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Well, I've got my stubble on.

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We're going to need more
than stubble.

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More?

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I know for a fact
she loves a hairy chest.

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Get this on.

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OK. Yes!

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<font color="

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Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

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Not this tattooed tit.
Oh, hi, guys.

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Didn't realise you were in the
final, Stewart. Congrats.

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You too, Neil.

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OK, well, is
better go to my station,

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<font color="

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Fuck's sake. I'm starting to find it
a bit weird,

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you bringing this costume
everywhere you go, hon.

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Listen, there's something
unsavoury going on,

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and I'm not talking
<font color="

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What are you on about?
That bald lad over there,

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Mr Stockton.

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He arrived with Nan, they were
being all suspicious.

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If he does anything out of the
ordinary, let me know.

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<font color="

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CRASH!

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AHHHH!

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Oh.

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You all right, chick?

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What happened, Sal?
Fell back off my chair, Stew.

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You OK, hon?

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Oh, aye.

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<font color="
remember about the competition?

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All right, babe.

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I suppose it's best that
I start at the very beginning.

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It's not such a bad place
to start, chick.

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So, which colour wire
do I cut, like?

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<font color="

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There's isn't a green one.

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ON RADIO: Hmm, I'd go yellow.
What would you do, Stewart?

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ON RADIO: Don't ask me,
I'm colour-blind.

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Ten seconds left.
Lucinda, help me out.

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<font color="
Are you sure?

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Never been more sure of anything.

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ALARM BLARES
I think it's the wrong one! AHHHH!

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Fucking hell.

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You OK, Sal? Listen.

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I don't mean to be rude,

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<font color="
sodding dreams you've had.

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Not even the sex dream involving
Hillary Clinton and Keir Starmer?

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Why don't I take over, hon?
I've the memory of an elephant.

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Go ahead.

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I'll start at the very beginning.

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<font color="
chick.

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I think I've got a good
idea of what...

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I was buzzing when Stewart told me
he made it through

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to the final of Mr Teesside.

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I felt like we had a real advantage,
because I have been to every

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<font color="
been, so I knew how to win.

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00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:18,560
Stay still, Stewart,
this stubble's going everywhere.

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00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,720
Sorry to interrupt, but I've already
heard this detail

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and I don't have a lot of time, so
if you don't... Eee, sorry, hon.

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<font color="
Stewart's stubble in the van,

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then we arrived at Mr Teesside and
then we got shown backstage and I

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gave Stewart a hairy chest, then
Neil came over, then Dickie showed

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00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:30,600
up and told us to keep an eye
on Mr Stockton

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00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,600
<font color="

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00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,120
BEEPING

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Ooh! Fairy cakes are ready.

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Ooh! Mmm.

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00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,280
Anyone fancy a fairy cake?

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00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:44,840
Ooh! Yes, please! I fucking love
cake. For fuck's sake!

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00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:48,200
<font color="
the next part of the fucking story!

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Sorry, chick.

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00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:54,120
Listen, why don't I take over
from here?

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Fine.

224
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,680
But please, just get to the point.

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00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,640
Ooh! Right. I'll
start at the very beginning.

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00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:07,080
<font color="
beginning, you morons!

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00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:11,400
Ooh! Someone doesn't want
a fairy cake. Please...

228
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,840
Please. If you wouldn't mind just
going from the point

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00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,760
of the competition starting.

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00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,040
Well, you see, I wanted to be
<font color="

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00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,000
Mam! What are you wearing?

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00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,520
Well, I wanted to be a
sexy detective as well.

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00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:42,920
Eh, we could be a sexy detective
duo, like Cagney and Lacey,

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or Shakespeare and Hathaway.

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00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:53,840
Good afternoon, everyone,
<font color="

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00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,840
ALL CHEER

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Brought to you by Rock 'Ard
energy products.

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It's just glorious we can all gather
here annually to celebrate

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00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,240
the talent, brains

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00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:12,440
and anatomies of our wonderful men
from all across the Tees Valley.

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00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,240
<font color="

242
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:19,480
please welcome to the stage your
Mr Teesside finalists!

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00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,080
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,440


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00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,800

You're the pride

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00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,040


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00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,840

Side by side

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00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,080
<font color="

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00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:48,120

For our children...

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00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,160
WHISPERS: For our children.

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LET'S GET FUCKING WILD, LADIES!

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00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,240
CHEERING

253
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,240
Please make some noise for
Mr Hartlepool!

254
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,760
CHEERING

255
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,880
<font color="

256
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,880
CHEERING

257
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,560
Mr Stockton!

258
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,760
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

259
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,120
Mr Middlesbrough!

260
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,120
CHEERING

261
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,400
Boo! Hey!

262
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,920
Come on, ladies! Mr Redcar!

263
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,040
Meanwhile, backstage,
<font color="

264
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,440
ready for the short shorts round,
which was coming up shortly,

265
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,040
when I suddenly remembered what
Dickie said.

266
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,400
That bald lad over there,

267
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,880
Mr Stockton.

268
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,560
He arrived with Nan and they were
<font color="

269
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,840
If he does anything out of the
ordinary, let me know.

270
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,640
Sorry, babes, I'm a bit confused.

271
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,760
Is this a flashback within
a flashback?

272
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,600
Yes, hon. Keep up. Anyway...

273
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,080
I decided this was the perfect
snooping opportunity to

274
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,800
<font color="
muscly twink's bag.

275
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,720
Who wants some pole dancing?

276
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,800
First up, it's Mr Hartlepool.

277
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,560
MUSIC BLARES, CHEERING

278
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,640
Ooh!

279
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,520
Mr Middlesbrough!

280
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:40,720
ALL CHEER

281
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:51,040
Ugh! He used to be so flexible.
<font color="

282
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,480
Look what I found! It's Bobby!

283
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,560
I knew I recognised him!
He's not from Stockton, is he?

284
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,520
He's not even from Teesside.
He's from South fucking Shields!

285
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,560
Stewart!

286
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,240
We practised this! Get your legs
<font color="

287
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,120
That pole dancing class
was pointless!

288
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,320
He's stiff as a bloody board!

289
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,640
Who's ready for some short shorts?

290
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,240
I've got to go and wedge Stewart
into his short shorts.

291
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,760
There was something massively afoot.

292
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:31,040
<font color="
Inspector Voluptuous to investigate.

293
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,280
So ridiculous.

294
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:33,440
You what?

295
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,120
I just don't know why you
chose that name.

296
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,800
What's wrong with it?
Don't know, it's just a bit...

297
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,720
It's a bit of a mouthful, isn't it?

298
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,960
<font color="
right off the frigging tongue.

299
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,920
Anyway, I'd just about managed to
squeeze Stewart's

300
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,640
curvaceous Kardashian
arse cheeks into

301
00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:51,000
the smallest shorts I could find.

302
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:55,320
And even though the shorts were
<font color="

303
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:07,520
There is a clear winner in the
short shorts round, ladies.

304
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,160
AUDIENCE: Ooh!

305
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,240
Mr Stockton!

306
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,800
FANFARE PLAYS, CHEERING

307
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:27,240
And as is tradition, I will also
announce the longest shorts,

308
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,240
<font color="
loser of this round.

309
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,080
And that person is...

310
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,520
..Mr Hartlepool.

311
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,040
BOOING

312
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,360
Long shorts wanker!

313
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,160
Oh! Will we have
this for dinner tonight?

314
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,440
Oh, yeah.

315
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,920
<font color="
Oh, yeah.

316
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,640
So, it was the talent round next,

317
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,160
and I think this was the moment Nan
was hoping to clinch a win

318
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:59,280
for Mr Stockton, because Bobby has
one of the most beautiful voices.

319
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,360
Fucking hell, Stewart,
<font color="

320
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,560
I love you!

321
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,680
All right, ladies.

322
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,720
MUSIC STARTS

323
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,480


324
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:26,720

My soul so weary

325
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:34,280

And my heart burdened be

326
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,880


327
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:44,120
<font color="

328
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:50,880

And stay awhile with me

329
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:56,080


330
00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:01,160


331
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,840
OUT OF TUNE:


332
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,200
MICROPHONE FEEDBACK

333
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,400


334
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,000
<font color="

335
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,280
Bobby had blown it.

336
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,480
But Nan had other evil
tricks up her sleeve.

337
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,360
She told Nadia that Shirley Ballas
was on the phone to

338
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,920
compliment her judging skills.

339
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:36,120
And apparently, that Nadia is
a total slut for compliments.

340
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,520
<font color="

341
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,840
Oh, I'm going for a piss.

342
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,400
Eee, hang on. Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?

343
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,600
I am, babe.

344
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,600
I've tried telling him before
he's dog-shite at tap dancing,

345
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,320
but for some reason
<font color="

346
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,000
It's Nan disguised as one
of the judges.

347
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
Oh, shit! Be right back.

348
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,880
Hiya, chick. Lads,

349
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,760
Nan's somehow managed to get onto
the judging panel.

350
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,040
You're kidding me!
<font color="

351
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,840
She's trying to fix Mr Teesside
so that Bobby wins,

352
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,920
and she can get all the prize money.

353
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,520
Oh, it's lovely, that.

354
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,520
MAM BELCHES

355
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,520
We had all the evidence we needed.

356
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,760
It was time for Detective Sexy

357
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:49,760
<font color="
Mr Teesside wide open.

358
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,640
The talent round was over.

359
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,440
It was now or never.

360
00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:02,520
Ladies, the judges have deliberated
and we have a unanimous decision.

361
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,400
CHEERING

362
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,760
The winner...

363
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,640
..of Mr Teesside is...

364
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:22,120
<font color="

365
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,360
Stop the competition.

366
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,800
I hope you'll all
excuse my intrusion,

367
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:35,440
but my name is Detective Sexy,
and whilst you've all been enjoying

368
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:40,520
the show, I've been carrying out
a very extensive investigation

369
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:45,720
into a crime, and the results may
<font color="

370
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,840
THEY GASP

371
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:52,880
You see, not everything
is as it seems.

372
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,640
Somebody on this stage is a fraud!

373
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,520
Fucking hell!

374
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:14,880
In my brassiere I have the
driving licence of Mr Stockton.

375
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,840
Or should I say...

376
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,240
<font color="

377
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,240
AUDIENCE GASPS

378
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,440
That's right.

379
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,960
Mr Stockton isn't
even from Stockton.

380
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,160
He isn't even from the Tees Valley!

381
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,080
South Shields? What on earth?!

382
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,680
Let me call you by your real name...

383
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:31,800
..Bobby.

384
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,200
<font color="
I'm wearing a bald cap.

385
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:40,720
Hmm. But let's not be too harsh
on Bobby, ladies,

386
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:46,000
because Bobby was merely a puppet
and somebody else's pawn.

387
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,960
The real puppet master was operating
under our very noses,

388
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,280
in plain sight.

389
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,600
<font color="
she's right there.

390
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,120
Mam! I was about to do
a whole dramatic thing!

391
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,320
You found me out.

392
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:13,280
Boo-hoo-hoo.

393
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,520
Clever little gay boys.

394
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:22,120
Well, let's see how clever
you are...

395
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:23,800
<font color="

396
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,360
SHE CACKLES

397
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,680
SCREAMING

398
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:39,000
Give...me the 20 grand cash...

399
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,960
..or I'll blow
your bastard balls off.

400
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,240
We haven't got the cash here.
You what?

401
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,720
<font color="

402
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,480
In the...

403
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,480
IN THE BANK!

404
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,440
SCREAMING

405
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,640
What's it doing in the bank?!

406
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,440
What's the matter with yous?

407
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:09,640
You never seen a gun go off before?
You bunch of woke lib-tards.

408
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,520
That didn't happen, did it?

409
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,560
<font color="

410
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:15,880
Yeah.

411
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,520
She got arrested and everything.

412
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,680
I would have gotten away with it
if it wasn't for those pesky gays.

413
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,520
You'll regret this.

414
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,760
YOU'LL ALL REGRET THIS!

415
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,400
Watch your head, son.
Oh, cheers, mate.

416
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,160
<font color="
Really appreciate it.

417
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,000
PHONE RINGTONE

418
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,280
Dickie, is that...

419
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,280
RINGTONE CONTINUES

420
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,800
Yeah, hon. I think it is.

421
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,720
Your gig phone!

422
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,760
Gig phone? What's a gig phone?

423
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,280
His burner phone.

424
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,480
Whenever Dickie gets
<font color="

425
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,240
it comes straight through
to that line.

426
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,000
I forgot you had it,
to be honest, chick.

427
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,400
Well, answer it!

428
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,280
Hello?

429
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:12,880
Yeah.

430
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,560
OK.

431
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,720
No, that's, um...

432
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,800
Yeah.

433
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,800
<font color="

434
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:22,240
Thanks for letting me know.

435
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:23,960
OK. Bye.

436
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,320
Who was that, like? Guys...

437
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,720
..I've got a drag gig!

438
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:29,880
THEY CHEER

439
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,320
Woohoo! Had you good there!
Had you good!

440
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,680
<font color="
What a fucking topper!

441
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,760
Woo! Oh, yes! That's great!

442
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,560
Fucking hell.

443
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,960
So, when will it be published?

444
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:56,080
I just need to process...it.

445
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,600
So how did you leave it, then?
<font color="

446
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,720
Well, I haven't actually told
these guys yet, but...

447
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:14,880
Life's too short.

448
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,000
You what, Neil?

449
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,400
That's what I was thinking
when we were about to be shot.

450
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,360
Life's too short.

451
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,560
OK, hon.

452
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,320
<font color="
now, or it might be too late.

453
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:33,240
So, with that in mind...

454
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,120
What you doing?

455
00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:40,240
Lucinda...

456
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,560
..would you do me
the greatest honour...

457
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:53,960
..of being my wife?

458
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,440
PF-F-FFRT!

459
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:08,000
<font color="

460
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,520


461
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,280

We're the pride

462
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,840


463
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,720


464
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,200


465
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,960


466
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:33,240


467
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:37,120
<font color="

468
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,160